Am feeling a bit sad tonight.
I have been, as usual, thinking about the pros and cons list about meeting Sean.Pros
He's really funny
He's really sweet
He looks quite fit in most of his picsCons
He's 4 years younger than me (literally only stopped being a teenager in Feb)
He doesn't drive
He lives about a 4 hour drive away (except when he's on base, then it's only about an hour)
I want to mark his emails with a red pen - doesn't look likely that there's potential for intellectual conversation
He's in the army which means he's always away on the other side of the world/in a war zone/anywhere I won't be
My holiday dates are set in stone, they're unlikely to coincide with his
He probably smokes
I've never met him, we may nnot get along
All other soldiers I've met are knobs!
 And the cons list, as you can see is much much longer.During an msn conversation on Saturday I asked him what he wanted out of all this and he replied "I just want to have fun and to be happy, you?" Knowing that I'm probably not going to be seen as anything more than a shag especially as he hasn't had any for a while and is pretty much guarenteed it with me, I told him the same. But I thought better of it and I emailed him after he'd signed out and wrote (amoungst other things): In all honesty, as well as looking for fun and to just be happy, I am looking for more - I'll be 24 in July and I am looking to start settling down with someone. I want to be with someone long term, not just a short term arsewipe who's going to mess me around! Having said that, I don't want you to think that that's going to affect 'us' and our fun when we meet coz it's not. As I said earlier I just want to go with flow that weekend and let whatever will happen, happen. I just thought you should know what I'm thinking and hope that this doesn't put you off!

He left me waiting 2 days to reply:
as for you tellin me about u wantin 2 settle down, thats cool with me. i wud, but me bein in the army its hard for the girl, you know. i dont want 2 put tht pressure on her.

Now re-read my cons list!!
Hearing it from him has made me want to make it work. I don't know how we would, but without even meeting him I just want to make it work!! I feel like I'd happily make that sacrifice for him!!
Anyway, I can't wait to meet him even more now but:
i got sum bad news, my leave is only one week know its from the 19 till the 26 which is poo but not alot i can do, so i will let you know whn i will come down 2 see you.

Great.
So, I've told him that he's still more than welcome to come down on the 16th even just for the night, but I doubt he will coz he's not seen his friends and family for a few months.
So the countdown ends and the waiting continues.
Story of my life really.
XxX